A woody morning

“It’s the wood that makes it good.” Kenny Rogers

Hey everyone. You didn’t think I’d forget our anniversary, did you?

The heavens shine with sun dogs and the griddles dance with sausage and pancakes to herald this special day. This MILESTONE, if you will.

FIVE YEARS AGO today I visited my gum lady and my financial planner and had a nice breakfast and everything went so smoothly it prompted me to launch a blog, (sort of). I mean, I guess that’s ONE of the origin stories of “Mountains Beyond Mountains”, but there are layers here, man. We are like an onion. Layers! Or maybe like a delicious onion ring, crusty on the outside, but soft and delicious on the inside. It doesn’t matter how it began, we are always looking to the FUTURE around here.

Still, it’s kind of fun to look back at the other “Feb 9” posts (all of which cleverly work the word MORNING into the title so they are easy to find), to get a sense of where we were all at. And actually, besides the annual Oscar rundown (which I sort of “half-assed” this year, sorry guys), this has been the one constant blog topic I’ve returned to year after year.

Five years, though. Crazy, right?

Our original 5 year mission to explore deep space has come to a close. We’ve returned the ol’ USS Enterprise to Earth for an oil change and given the crew a couple of weeks shore leave. That’s how it works, right? In our case, it means getting the Windex out to give the lighthouse windows a proper cleaning, and to air out the sleeping bags. (and to update our blog header. Do you like the pic?)

Where do we go from here? Just when I think I’ve gotten everything off my chest, that the world doesn’t need any more stories from this outpost, something happens and I feel I need to log in and share. I know, it’s weird. Just tell me to stop and I will. OR WILL I??? Spoiler: I’ve ALREADY WRITTEN my post for the “Thing(s) I love” post, due on Valentine’s Day, so get ready for that. Any guesses?

The traditional gift for a 5th anniversary is WOOD. (The modern gift for 5 is silverware, so maybe I can refresh our cutlery at home, finally. Or at least get rid of THAT ONE FORK that has been vexing me for QUITE SOME TIME. I have an excuse now, at least.)

But we’re all about tradition around here at MBM, so I think WOOD is the way to go. What can I give you, my good and reliable readers (all three of you), who never seem to miss a post? Those of you who have spent the last 5 years with me, more or less, as I’ve posted these ramblings out into the ether, like a lighthouse shining its bean into dense fog?

Well, the answer seems obvious to me. Creepy wooden marionettes! Yes, that’s right. The first reader to come visit me at the MBM editorial offices (i.e. the lighthouse) will receive a handcrafted creepy wooden marionette IN THEIR OWN LIKENESS. I must receive a photograph (a head shot will suffice. Does not NEED to be a nude, but it is preferred), 3-4 months in advance of your visit so I can make sure I have enough time to teach myself the art of woodworking (and European puppetry). What you do with your own creepy wooden marionette of your own likeness IS YOUR OWN BUSINESS (i.e. for legal reasons I really am not allowed to know what happens to the marionette once it leaves the lighthouse). Also, you need to follow my trail of clues left in public libraries and train stations around the world to get the EXACT COORDINATES of the lighthouse. It’s not everyday we get visitors.

Wait, this is a TERRIBLE idea. I’m not even allowed to use a hammer. Okay, I’ll make you a deal: I’ll keep sending these messages out from the lighthouse, and you keep reading them, and we’ll keep doing this until one of us stops. You don’t need to send me a headshot, and I won’t carve your likeness into a marionette (unless you really want one).




I DID have the sense to change the blog title to “A Woody Morning” from the original, “Morning Wood”, which I thought a little too ribald for our purposes. I sense the beginnings of a spoonerism here. A woody morning, or a moody warning? A moody warning. I like that.


A Woody Fiver


happy anniversary



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2 responses to “A woody morning

  1. Happy Anniversary! I have a strong feeling a certain modern musical will pop up in things you love this week. AMIRIGHT?

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