Famous Last Words

Hello gang. I left you with the impression that my previous blog post was going to be the last one before Christmas. I even wished you all a Happy Christmas at the end as I left you with the arresting and poignant image of me picking up my pen and writing a condolence card instead of my usual Christmas card to the Irish relatives.

And so it was.

But then I thought that was kind of a sombre (can I spell sombre that way, or is it somber? Somber surely is correct, but is sombre ALSO CORRECT? Like meter and metre? It sort of looks like I am trying to spell sombrero, which surely is one of the least sombre [or somber] pieces of headwear a man can don. It’s right up there with a fez in terms of hats that make you smile. When I see a man in a sombrero [and God knows I don’t see enough of them] I can’t help but smile and think of fried ice cream and the pre-credits sequence in SPOILER the new James Bond movie SPECTRE. Look, there’s another word. Can you spell it SPECTER? I mean, I suppose there’s that mad genius Phil Spector (not the same spelling!) who produced countless musical hits in the 60s and 70s and then went on to murder his girlfriend but why sully this holiday post with the thought of such an awful man?) image to end the year off with, in this season of Hope, Peace, Joy and EVEN Love. Yes, Love.

And so I thought one more post was in order before we close the book on 2015.

I briefly went back and looked at my posts from 2015 to see if there was some kind of pattern. I don’t think I’ve ever looked back before. As you know, #onward is the watch word around here, but I found some interesting things. Things that I like to do, or even love to do, in my posts.

  • I like to eulogize people. I started the year writing about my beloved high school English teacher, Mr. Pauls, and what he meant to me. That was followed up by saying goodbye to my Dad’s cousin in another post, and yet another cousin in my last post. In between, I said “goodbye” to David Letterman, a father figure in his own way to me, and although not a death per se, a “death” of a routine that still has not healed or been filled with another. I don’t know if it ever will. Stephen Colbert has (so far) proven to be an utter disappointment in the new time slot, and the only bit of comfort I take from Late Night TV is the goofy joy that James Corden brings to his role as host of “The Late Late Show”. It’s the only late night show I can stomach at the moment. I don’t know. Maybe I am just getting too old. Speaking of old, I fondly remembered “Trader Pete”, a man who shaped a good portion of my childhood as I was glad to give him his time on here FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO BEHOLD. I also mourn the loss of the FRICKIN’ spell check on this wordpress site. Seriously people: if you know where it is and can let me know in the comments,  I will be quite grateful. It will also mean you won’t need to suffer through endless typos, WHICH NO DOUBT HAVE INCREASED EXPOENTIALLY (that’s probably spelled wrong) since mid summer.
  • I like telling stories about dumb things that I do or happen to me. Like the whole “wearing lady boots for a week and not knowing it” business, or the whole “getting pressured into buying SHIT TOOTHPASTE” or the whole “how the fuck did I end up driving this crazy hybrid car to work?” thing.
  • The second half of the year was pretty much a “Holy Cow I’m excited for this new Star Wars movie” blog, peppered with this “I don’t want to jinx the Toronto Blue Jays but OH MY GOD August to October 2015 was just about the most exciting, stupid, gut-wrenching, fun, horrible, wonderful thing that could happen to a baseball fan”. Oh, and Star Wars is out now. Not sure if you were aware of it. I saw it. It’s pretty damn great, and the new cast is SOLID and that’s all I’m going to say about it because I’m not going to be one of those D-Bags that slips a spoiler in without any warning or anything. In fact, if I write anything about Star Wars, I’ll give it a solid month just so I can be sure that those who wanted to see it in the theatre had their chance. One more thing about Star Wars: I’m PRETTY pleased with myself that I kept away from social media (for the most part) in the week leading up to the release of the movie so I can honestly say I went into it Spoiler Free and enjoyed every little “reveal” as it was meant to be revealed. In fact, my own little pet theory about one character turned out to be NOT TRUE and that was kind of thrilling to think something was going to go one way and have it go another way. That’s all I’m saying about Star Wars.  Come on, you guys. You know I’m not great with secrets. Stop talking about Star Wars, okay! On to my next point:
  • I love trains.
  • I’m still a sucker for telling stories about my dear little daughter. From the way she apparently taught herself to ride a bike by herself overnight to her kindergarten graduation to this latest Poop Diary saga, I still can’t believe I’ve been entrusted with this kid’s welfare (for the next 12 years at least) and as much of a dummy I sometimes make myself out to be, I hope I am meeting the minimum requirements of “Dad”hood. She deserves better, but I’m trying.


And that’s it, I think. That’s the year in review. That’s what I’ve learned about myself. I like stuff. I don’t know if I can go any deeper than that. Sorry to disappoint. “Sorry to Disappoint”. That might be a good tag line for this blog if I ever get tired of that Picasso quote. People like what they like, as a famous fake internet Judge often reminds us.

This February 9 will mark the FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of Mountains Beyond Mountains, and I was musing aloud the other day to my wife that maybe that would be a good place to wrap things up. You know: 5 years. A nice uneven number. A half decade. The original 5 year mission (if you happen to be a Star Trek fan), and she said, “but I just started reading it!”

I don’t know. Just when I  think I have nothing else to say, I end up writing two posts in one day. But who knows? Maybe it’s time for something new? A MBM podcast? with guests? That sounds like a lot of work, actually. Microphones? Editing software? I can barely type on a keyboard.

None of us knows what’s around the corner, despite best guesses. Maybe something wonderful.

In any case, I really think this IS the last post in 2015 (famous last words), so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Thanks to all of you who read this silly blog and for those who give me feedback, positive, negative or whatever. I really appreciate it. It’s nice to hear the audience breathe once and a while.

It’s the longest night of the year tonight, “let’s [just] see what the morning brings.”



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2 responses to “Famous Last Words

  1. My favourite blog. It has everything!

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