I found this thing in our living room the other day. I initially thought it was a new garbage can from IKEA or something. My wife had to tell me that it was a POTTY.
Obviously, I don’t remember my own potty training, or even my younger brother’s, but I imagine I was quite good at it. The sight of it alone took me aback. It was one more indication that our little daughter was no longer a baby. I remember the first sign was when I stopped using 4 ounce bottles and moved up to the 8 ounce bottles when Audrey was about 4 or 5 months. I was actually devastated to think that she had grown out of something already. (But we’ve only had these things for like 3-4 months! I have a couple of CDs I’ve owned for over 10 years that I still haven’t taken out of the wrapping.) I realize that part of being a parent is to observe these milestones and know that her life will really just be a series of transitions. I have an uncle and aunt who are in their 80s and have just moved from their house into an apartment. The transitions never end. Where am I going with all this, you may be asking yourself? Well, the sight of the potty means that perhaps the diaper changing era is slowly but surely coming to an end in our house, and to commemorate it I thought I would list the top 5 diaper changes over the last two years.
5. April 28, 2009. Audrey’s (and mine) First Diaper.
She wasn’t more than 15 minutes old when the nurses said it was okay to take her out of the incubator and we could hold her for the first time. This was about 5 am. One of the nurses on duty asked me if I wanted to put on her first diaper. I had never done one before. It was remarkably easy, I thought. You just had to make sure you had it on front to back.
4. July 3, 2009. At home.
Even though I had a strong talking to from a nurse in the hospital to never ever leave a baby unattended on a change table, I was halfway through a change at home when Coldplay’s “Yellow” came on the radio. I was so overcome by the guitar part that I ran from Audrey’s room to the kitchen playing air guitar like a madman. Something, I must add, that I don’t think I’ve ever done before or since. Marla was not impressed. “Where’s the baby!” Unattended, of course. I ran back, and no harm done. She didn’t even flip over.
3. August 20, 2009. Moraine Lake, Alberta.
Having finished our picnic lunch in the mountains, Marla noticed that Audrey needed a change. Where else but on the picnic table where we had just finished eating? I stood guard while Marla took care of business. This diaper change makes the list because of its exotic locale. I’ve always been a little leery of picnic tables after this.
2. July 1, 2011. Lower Fort Garry National Historic Site
Partway through our visit to the Fort, Audrey’s diaper seemed to be sagging quite a bit. No modern washrooms in 1850, the year in which this Fort is supposedly frozen. What did our forefathers do? I couldn’t tell you, but we whipped out the change pad and laid Audrey out on the grass next to the governor’s mansion. Our most historic, (and probably public) diaper change.
1. August 2, 2009. Leon’s Parking Lot.
This diaper change has become the gold standard for all other “distress” changes we’ve done up til now. Marla and I were shopping for a new washing machine and we had just left Leon’s and got back to our car. We were supposed to head over to the airport to pick up Marla’s brother and his girlfriend who were on their way home living in Denmark for a year. This would be their first chance to meet Audrey. Marla noticed that there was a bit of a smell coming from Audrey’s nethers, and we headed back to Leon’s to make the change. Just as we got to the front doors, the lights went out and the “OPEN” sign shut off. We tried the doors. Locked. We were stuck. “Oh well,” Marla said. “I guess we’ll just have to change her in the back seat”. Out came the change pad, but just then the skies opened up and we were in the middle of a summer downpour. I stood over the back door with an umbrella over most of Marla as she got to work. All I could tell was that this was going to be messy. “Watch the upholstery!” I kept shouting, which didn’t win me any favours. Marla did her best in the adverse conditions, but the little outfit she had picked out for the airport had to be scrapped for a cleaner but much more pedestrian sleeper. When we finally met up with Chris and Alison, Audrey was fast asleep. Chris’s take on it “That poop must have tuckered her out.” Nice first impression of your niece.